If Amazon were a person, you would never introduce Amazon to your friends. Why? Because Amazon would embarrass you.
Amazon would not do this intentionally. Amazon would merely be trying too hard to impress you and your friends.
But the problem is, Amazon knows way too much about you.
Worse still, Amazon thinks Amazon knows you and all of your idiosyncrasies and makes suggestions about what you should purchase next (in case you’re struggling for ideas).
So how does Amazon do this?
Simple. By sending you emails like this:
Usually when you’re checking your emails as someone you greatly respect/admire/have a secret crush on pops over to talk to you.
Amazon. You’re great. But we can never be friends.
And I will never buy anything by Phil Collins.